You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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