What a fucking waste of an outfit
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
