I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
