haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
