I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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