I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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