Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
