is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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