I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
