Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I need water and some morals
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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