I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
