I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
