Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
