YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
