my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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