i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
