I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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