It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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