Me too!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
do herpes really smell.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
