am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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