His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
