but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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