I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Randomize
