You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
