He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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