Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
