just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
