We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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