Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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