the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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