I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
