I think i sorta joined a cult last night
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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