so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
