I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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