): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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