I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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