This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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