You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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