oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
