just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
