She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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