He kissed a someone with a penis
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
