yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
