I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
