no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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