Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
