I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
