i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
