I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
