Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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