Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
