We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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