I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
